


Shattered Hopes

by Midnight Wolf (Larkawolfgirl)



Series: Inner Medley [4]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Captivity, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Music, Memories, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, POV First Person, Regret, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 21:36:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3544652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larkawolfgirl/pseuds/Midnight%20Wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I had never meant any harm. Trapped in this castle of endless white there wasn’t much left for me to do. It was a boring existence. The only delight in my life were the simple, yet intriguing, memories of a boy I had never met. I may not have met him, but I knew him better than anyone. I knew his hope and dreams, his fears, his insecurities.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shattered Hopes

I never meant any harm. Trapped in this castle of endless white there was little for me to do. It was a boring existence. The only delight in my life were the simple, yet intriguing, memories of a boy I had never met. I may not have met him, but I knew him better than anyone. I knew his hope and dreams, his fears, his insecurities. I even knew more about him than he did. I could see the boy sleeping within him undetected as well as the other off learning about the world. Whenever I wished I could play any said memory as if it were a movie in my head. I often bemused myself trying to convey important memories onto paper, though to be honest, I wasn’t too great of an artist. Numerous childlike drawings littered my white room, splashing it with much-needed color.

The isolation wouldn’t have been so bad if not for the pressure those few black-clad Nobodies subjected me to. At first, I tried not to listen to them. I didn’t want to mess with Sora, I didn’t want to hurt him. He was my only solace. He held a light that was somehow absent from this blindingly-white castle. They didn’t take my refusals well. It depended on who happened to be in charge of watching me what my punishment entailed. Sometimes I was beaten, other times withheld food, and often I was locked up. I must admit that I am a weak person. These punishments together with my already flimsy inclination easily broke my resolution.

The first time I messed with his memories was when he entered the castle. They wouldn’t stand for missing out on a chance like him coming right to them of his own volition. Marluxia pulled on my hair, forcing my eyes up to meet his.

“Do it.” His voice was dead serious. I closed my eyes, but he spat the order again.

The walls fell, and I found myself inside Sora’s memories. Each piece of memory was connected by a strand to other pieces and memories. With the simple flick of my imaginary scissors any strand I wanted could be cut away and the memory would ripple as it reshaped itself.

I was supposed to remove Kairi— Sora’s motivation—but when I saw the way he looked at her, the way he felt for her, I stopped. I couldn’t help the envious feeling that filled me. This was something I longed for, to have someone—anyone—want me that much. What I would give to have anyone want me at all. It was ridiculous. I was a part of Kairi, yet it was still true that Sora wanted her, not me. Regardless, this was as close as I could get, and I couldn’t bring myself to erase it.

Then a despicable thought planted a seed in my mind. What if I could fulfill Marluxia’s wish and mine at the same time? What if Sora did want me instead of Kairi? I knew what I was doing was wrong, but it didn’t stop me. I cut the strands tying the core of Kairi’s existence from the center of his heart itself. As the space surrounding me began to ripple, I formed an image of myself in my mind. I saw myself handing Sora a yellow starfruit and us exchanging smiles over it. Tiny tears trickled in my eyes at the feeling that filled me as the alternated memory became real for me as well. If only this could be true. Marluxia brought me out of the spell by pulling on my hair yet again. “Aren’t you done yet?”

Solemnly, I nodded, trying my best to hide the unshed tears. He either didn’t notice or didn’t care in his eagerness to implement his plan. I watched as he exited my prison cell. The full impact of my actions now rested on my shoulders. Whatever harm came to Sora now was my fault.

This was the moment of choice. I needed to reap the fruits of my folly. I turned around, unable to face him.

“Sora, you have a choice. You can lose your memories of this castle and reclaim your old ones, or keep your memories here and give up the memories you’ve lost.”

“Do I have to choose?”

“Yes.” The time before he answered felt like an eternity.

“Make me like I was.”

My face contorted, tears threatening, but I resolved myself with a fake smile before turning back to face him. “Oh, okay. Nobody needs to keep a bunch of memories that aren’t real, right?” I could feel a cool hand sneaking around my heart. “You want to remember all of the people who are really important to you. Anybody would choose that.” I blinked the tears back as I led him to the sleeping chamber.

“All of this may have started with a lie, but I really am glad that I could meet you, Sora.” And it was the truth. Even though I was losing him, I reminded myself that this was still better than I had started out. I was no longer a prisoner, and at least I knew that Sora didn’t hate me.

“Yeah, me too. When I’d finally found you, and even when I remember your name, I was happy. The way I felt then, that was no lie.”

The hand around my heart disappeared. He did feel something for me. Maybe it wasn’t the same or even as strong as what he felt for Kairi, but it was for me and me alone. “Goodbye.” I waved sincerely.

“No, not goodbye. When I wake up I’ll find you and then they’ll be no lies. We’re gonna be friends for real. Promise me, Namine.”

It was too much to wish for. “You’re going to forget making that promise.”

“If the chain of memories comes apart the links will still be there, right? So, the memory of our promise will always be inside me somewhere. I’m sure of it.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Okay, it’s a promise.”

“Good. Until later.”

I watched as the sleeping chamber closed, obstructing my view of him, but I knew that someday, somehow that promise would be fulfilled. 


End file.
